Netflix’s show Unwell came out of nowhere. Tantra is rarely spoken about. To have a docuseries do an entire episode on tantric sex was a welcome surprise.

As a Tantra teacher, did I like the show?

 

It was interesting. It was great timing for many things said.

For a bit of fun- the show intrigues. For a thorough look- it could dive deeper into all aspects.

Here is a little about me if you are new here: I have been a Tantra teacher and yoga teacher for over ten years. I was trained in India as well as doing various Tantra trainings and workshops in the US. I am most interested in Tantra from India not so much the Neo-Tantra. Neo-Tantra or tantric sex can offer benefits to those needing sexual healing or connection. Tantra can be apart of every part of our life and being. That being said- what is said in Unwell about Neo-Tantra having little to do with real Tantra is true.

The show did not go into how most people offering “Tantra” sessions or massage have sex with clients or offer sexual massage. It did not even say whether there was penis massage in the sessions shown. Perhaps this was a time constraint or perhaps a dark web they did not want to get into. For me, it is the most upsetting part of Tantra in the west… far worse than Neo-Tantra workshops. People are selling massage and private session in Tantra that involves sex or sexual massage. Most often it includes no real Tantra exercises aside from maybe some breathing. That is not right. Now, I do believe that people offering these services needed for their client’s sexual healing or growth can be in the right. I have known amazing results for women with non-orgasm issues that came from trauma which were able to be healed. Women (and a few men) that charge for  tantric sex with couples in the name of Tantra

What was shown in the show was energy massage. The person had amazing results from energy healing and breathing. He was such a wonderful person that was so willing to open up. I would not have guessed a boiled peanut seller to have such an interest in Tantra. His immediate healing was not fully addressed in the interview which was disappointing. Any Neo Tantra or real Tantra teacher understands the energy of those that have been sexually abused, so it was not unique that Sasha was able to pick up on that. The show made a big deal of it. Yes, it does give her credibility and helps educate those with abuse backgrounds that healing is available. As for the massage, a highly-skilled Tantra teacher can offer these results with no touch as was shown. There are few able to provide this. It was a great piece of the show to be able to glance into a session, and into the life of this teacher, Sasha. Some of you may have known her from her former work under Nityama.

Tantric sex is not Tantra. It can be a tiny part of a Tantric life. I teach a tiny part about sex and masturbation in my courses and coaching. There is no quick short cut to learn it my way. A person must do many practices over and over to even begin to move energy to do Tantric practices in sex or self-pleasuring.

Going to workshops can be a dangerous time connecting with others energy. It can also be fun. It depends who is running it. The show does not discuss that people swap partners several times during a workshop. I see too many where the teacher teaches a mishmash of techniques from India, Taoist, and even Native American. If the teacher advertises it as more fun than real Tantra then that is fine except for the energy aspect. A teacher must be able to fully handle and see the energy of all the students at one time. No one wants to go home with energetic cords or dark energy from someone else. That can easily happen doing partner practices or having sex.

This is cultural misappropriation.

I also see others where the teacher encourages women to sign up to train to be tantra teachers. They are signing them up for prostitution not real Tantra. Many of the women are older grandma types that you would not expect to trick women into sex work in the name of sacred healing. Attending a workshop for fun or learning new skills can turn into a slippery slope when led by cult leader types using mantras and energy.

I loved the professor from the show. I loved how direct he was. I love his knowledge on the religion and history. He is right Tantra is a religion.

Can we benefit from parts of a religion without being a part of it? Yes.

I wish that the show had dove deeper into things it missed rather than spending time on couples Tantra talk therapy coaching. I would have also liked to have seen real Tantra classes- however, the show was on tantric sex.

The main takeaway is that Tantra can be a part of everything. There are risks learning it. Be careful who you learn from and the books you read.

Be clear if you are just doing tantric sex techniques. Do not call it Tantra.

I wish we would give it a new name. Tantric sex is confusing for American’s tiny knowledge of languages of India. They probably think mantra and tantra are the same.

Let’s just call it sacred sexual or anything other than Tantric.

Watch the show if you have not. If you watched it, what is it that interests you in Tantra or just tantric sex?

Sincerely,

Debra

I offer courses here on real Tantra. I also offer a limited amount of private coaching via video chat. I spend an equal amount teaching all aspects- especially for the new student.