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Porn Addiction (This is information for ALL students whether for you or helping friends)

This is a lesson for both men and women. It can cause issues with either sex on some level. Also, it is good to be aware of porn addiction for our friends, co-workers or lover. It is important to see how porn affects our brain and behavior. It is not just all harmless fun for us. Do not get me wrong that I think porn is bad. There is something carnal about seeing two people have sex.

As of 2011, addiction is now defined as a disease of the brain. It has effects on reward, motivation, and memory. Sex, food, and gambling are as much of an addiction as drugs. (American Society of Addiction Medicine, 2011)

Men, especially young guys, watch porn and get their ideals of sex from porn. They can put themselves under pressure to perform the way the men in porn do. Girls can feel like they must moan and scream like porn women even if they are not having that much fun. The sex in film might look exciting, but it is not as pleasurable in real life when done that way… at least for the female. Sure there are times when the woman has a desire to have the hell (tension) fucked out of her. For the most part, women need a slower pace to open the g-spot and get wet enough. Many men crave the intimacy of a normal pace with some eye contact.

The average age to start looking at online porn is 10. That is many, many years to wire a brain into thinking sex is like porn, and to need porn for excitement.

1 in 5 searches on mobile devices are for porn.

Studies show that violence in porn encourages violence to women in real life. Sometimes it is clear violence like face smacking. Most women consider a man cumming on the face to be violence unless they are super into pleasing their lover. Both sides come from porn, and men thinking it is sexy to see their own cum or that it is cool to do. Or worse- they enjoy the disrespect. This is one of the ways that porn rewires our brain.

One in three porn addicts are a woman.

Women are turning more to watching porn because they don’t have to worry about a just one night stand happening, safety issues, not picking someone up, being disrespected, or having no orgasm in a quick encounter. Going home to their porn boyfriend is a guaranteed orgasm. Women studied have used descriptions like: “Rush, I can’t step away, attachment to it, immediately addicted the first time and sometimes do 6-8 times per day, makes slip into bad behavior in the bedroom with my husband or cheating, and made them get into darker and darker stuff.”

Some men can possibly never find the ideal woman because porn has made them able to seek a very special type. Eventually, they get bored and seek out another porn star. Finding the perfect girlfriend is nowhere near as easy.

Overwatching porn can lower sex drive or performance for many men. Erection problems are common when people get used seeing porn and even need it for an erection. Some women can start to need it too.

Any porn watching needs to be looked at in whether it is healthy porn category and whether it takes up so much mental/physical time that it is an addiction. A leading cause of divorces is one partner saying porn addiction. If an erection can only be achieved with porn then it is an addiction. A shame cycle of watching porn can actually keep sucking them back. They feel shame, but then watch porn to feel better. The shame cycle alleviates the pain caused by porn addiction.

From a Tantra perspective, we have to look out how much energy we are losing by ejaculating frequently or if it disconnects us from part of the pleasure. For those that watch porn, taking a break from porn to see what happens would be useful. There are ways to boost libido that I talk about in this course.